Call Center Confessions

The Moron

snakeeyes072 — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 01:36:00 +0000

There is one at every job. He’s the bumbling idiot who doesn’t know hes a bumbling idiot. You tell him the proper way to do something and fifteen minutes later hes back asking you how to do it. No I know there are some people who learn slower than others, but this guy never seems to learn.

Now this wouldn’t be that big of a deal if his mistakes didn’t make things worse for everyone else. Walking over and talking to you while on a call, yelling to you from across the call center, and other wonderful call center faux pas.

These coworkers can sometimes be as bad as the customers.

“What do you mean don’t tell them that I don’t know what I’m doing?”
“What does, ‘Channel Not Authorized’ mean?”
“Why do you need to get the customers information before upgrading there service?”

These are just a few of the quotes you get from the Moron.

Service is Directly Proportional to Your Attatude

snakeeyes072 — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 20:05:35 +0000

Yelling gets you no where people. I understand you’re angry, but remember we’re people too. Not only that, but we are new to this issue, we don’t update everyone in the call center to every customers problem. If you get on the phone and begin screaming we have no idea what you’re yelling about, nor will that make us want to help you.
When I get a customer on the phone who treats me like dirt and expects wonderful service, they will be disappointed. I will do the bare minimum for that person. I know you’re angry, I understand why you’re angry, hell I even agree with why you’re angry. I’m on your side! Just remember we are here to help you. Please treat us the way we required to treat you.

The Mute Button

snakeeyes072 — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 02:00:37 +0000

There is a small weapon in our arsenal that makes working in a call center so much easier. It’s called the mute button. Now this button does not mute the customer, that would be no help to us, instead it mutes us. Making it easier to talk to your supervisor, bullshit with your co-worker, or make fun of the customer, all while on the call!

It’s an amazing little tool. Most call centers you’ll get background noise from other workers, if you ever hear that cut out, it means mute button has been turned on. This may not mean that we’re making fun of you. It could be that we had to sneeze, or our supervisor or co-worker asked us a question. But, if you’re being a jerk, we’re making fun of you.

Ain’t It the Truth

snakeeyes072 — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 12:08:35 +0000

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted,
“Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don’t know where I am.”

The woman below replied,
“You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground.
You’re between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”

“You must be in Information Technology,” said the balloonist.

“I am,” replied the woman, “how did you know?”
“Well,” answered the balloonist,
“everything you told me is probably technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip.”

Woman below responded, “You must be in Management.”
“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” said the woman,
“you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”

The Beginning…

snakeeyes072 — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:28:05 +0000

We all need jobs, and working part-time in “Lawn & Garden” wasn’t paying the bills, and neither was the bowling alley. I met a friend who worked for the company I work for now doing tech support in a 24 hour call center. He would brag about the money, the commission on sales, the youtube watching, and the general laid back atmosphere of the job. I was naive and needed the money…

I applied and low and behold I got the job. “YAY!” I thought to myself, $13 an hour, free TV and Internet, what could go wrong?

Paid training for a month. And I use the term “training” lightly. You learn nothing, everything I know now about our services and how to troubleshoot them I picked up on the floor in the first 90 days. We would come in a 8am, listen to our instructor brag about his level 80 elf and the raid he went on last night, then watch junkyard wars, and take a test. Needless to say I passed with flying colors. It’s not that hard when all the questions could be answered with “reboot the machine”.

“So, this really isn’t a specialized Tech Support job, so what, that should make it easier. And I still have free TV and Internet” Once again I was naive. It would take some time, but I would soon realize that this may have been a mistake. More on that later…

My first shift was and has been 4pm-12:30am. The days off changed though. I started with having Wednesday and Thursday off. Because you know, everyone parties and chills on Wednesday and Thursday. I eventually switched shifts and got Friday and Saturday off. I could have a normal social life now.

It was at this time I slowly started to actually enjoy the job. In the beginning it was relaxed, I started in the summer for the call volume was low, the customers that did call in had simple questions, and the 15 minutes I had between calls were used Bullshitting with coworkers about video games and movies or involved me surfing the internet. But then winter came…

We were constantly in Que, people complaining about things that haven’t been working all summer and just now called to report them. They were mad that they couldn’t get online or watch TV. It became a life and death situation. I had one guy threaten to shoot up the front office. But I’m getting ahead of myself. I should save some storied for posts.

Before I knew it, I was there a year. This blog will share stories and info about that past year and beyond. You’ll read about crazy customers. You’ll read about stupid supervisors. I’ll tell you about careless and clueless coworkers. I’ll share all this with you on one condition. That you keep all this in mind when you call and talk to one of us.